It’s back: My annual rewrite of ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas pointing out the insanity of liberalism over the past twelve months. I know that many of you wait all year for this, so, without further ado …
‘Twas the night before liberal Christmas, and in the White House
President Obama was gloating about which liberties to douse;
Fifty-four trees decked with all due colors and pomp,
While Americans suffer, the Obama’s do romp;
The White House is festive, peddling sin and in vice,
Everyone’s drunk on their power, yes, even the mice.
They dance and they dine, with important people and such,
While the rest of us suffer through an economy that sucks.
The Obamaphone Lady, nestled all snug in her bed,
Dreams of more handouts that will pay for her bread,
And Hillary in her ‘kerchief, is happy you see,
She won’t have to answer question about Benghazi –
Out on my lawn, I heard such a clatter,
I sprang out of bed, to behold what’s the matter.
A gang of Obama voters where stealing my car,
Because to them I am rich, and they’re more worthy by far.
So I ran to my cabinet, and grabbed my Mossberg,
I filled it with rounds, and fired, and heard;
Complaints and screams the hoodlums did shout,
Wondering why I was racist – of that they had no doubt.
Up in Michigan, the unions are floored,
Thinking Obama’s new term meant they would get more.
But when confronted with the now enshrined right to work,
They rioted and broke things, generally acting like jerks.
“Socialism forever! Now give us our stuff!
“How dare you defy us! How dare you rebuff!”
They attacked those who opposed them, the press got it too,
How dare they document the chaotic liberal zoo!
Meanwhile Michelle is decked in the fanciest of clothes,
She walks around proud, to the sky points her nose;
Eat veggies she orders with a maniacal grin,
To not do so? It is such a sin.
Once more a slaughter in “gun free” school zone,
The lessons of liberal failure always hit home;
As parents mourn, their dead daughters and sons,
Obama screams gleefully, about taking our guns!
Secretly he’s happy, oh he most certainly is,
Don’t let him fool you, he doesn’t grieve for those kids;
They were just more worries, a drain on the State,
Sucking dry the coffers at some future date.
In January looms the so-called cliff that is fiscal,
Liberals defy reality, their protests oh so primal.
“Give us more taxes!” That is always their plan,
They want their free lunch, and down the road kick the can.
Harry and Nancy and Obama do bitch,
Holding America hostage, because they hate the “rich”.
But what can be done? They’ve shut all the doors.
Our leaders are nothing but pompous asses and whores.
Yes whores! You heard me! Was I not plain?
They’ve sold themselves for fortune, for power, and fame!
They don’t care about you! They don’t care about me!
“To Hell with you all!” That’s their slogan, you see?
Our children’s money Obama wants to spend and not save,
Worst of all? John Boehner seems willing to cave.
So the President proclaims, as he drifts off to sleep,
“Merry Liberal Christmas to all! Now Get ready to leap!”